I'd be very grateful if some recruiters (or yourself Tony R) wouldn't mind commenting on the situation I'm in.Basically, I've been offered two very attractive positions with top firms. One in the US the other the UK. The UK position comes with a higher salary ~£5K, but both jobs are fairly 'equal' in other terms. I've been curious about going to work in the US for some time now, and the option to return to London (after 3 years) is there for me should I want to pursue that. So I'm leaning towards the US position (they've arranged a visa, relocation etc etc), but I need to let both companies know my decision early Jan 2006.Currently, neither firm knows that I have another offer (don't bother mentioning that I could say that I've been offered more money in the UK as I know that I won't get more from the US position). I'm going to take the US offer, but what's the best way of explaining this to the UK based firm? It's the age old problem of wanting to stay friends with your ex-girlfriend after you've just told them that you want to break up....and we know how tricky that is.Joking aside, I'd appreciate a recruiters/HR specialist's perspective on this as who knows if I'll be back on the job market in 2-3 years and don't want to have left any bad feelings in my wake.Many thanks!

Tell them the truth! This is business not personal...Also,US market is much more agressive than that of UK so, if you want a learning experience, that is the way to go!Good luck.

Sure i take your point, the reason i'm being 'cautious' is that i got the interview through a personal recommendation, and had some contact with the partner in the uk firm previously. Obviously i was never going to lie or try to cover my tracks, just want to handle it delicately, as i am grateful for the offer. A thoughtful young consultant...who would have thunk it?? Cheers!

As the previous respondent stated, this is business so you shouldn't worry too much. When Steven Gerrard turned down Chelsea 18 months ago having strung them along for ages, didn't stop them from being just as interested in signing him this last summer. So it will be with you. I agree with the other poster too that a stint in the US will probably be good for your career / look good on your CV.What you want to make sure though, when turning down the offer, is that you give some reasons that mean they are not the right firm for you to join now - but that keep the door open for you to join later. Saying firm A is better than firm B and so turning down firm B would make it very hard for you to be taken on board by firm B in the future - they'd always question whether you really believed in them as a company. Whereas saying that you want a stint in the US but then would be interested in them when you return to the UK would keep the door open with them (they may of course offer to match this relocation to the US offer).Last but not least, I don't think any top firm would be surprised to learn the candidates they are making offers to are receiving offers from other firms without them knowing it. They'd probably be quite worried if this wasn't the case.Hope that helps & good luck! Tony

thanks tony, i appreciate what you are saying here. Your point about giving some good reasons for my choice was well taken, that's what I've been thinking on lately and I think that I'm able to address this with enough tact this time. The real tipping point is that I'm going to be working out in the west coast with some start ups in Silicon Valley, an opportunity I've always wanted to pursue, and one I'll take even if it means being paid less than in the UK.Thanks for your opinion!